THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH!

I have always been a pleasant personality type. I love people and I love talking with them, finding out what makes them who they are. I always have. But even though I was mild-tempered I was not always happy. I spent 15 years of my life in a constant state of depression. I would cry a lot, up to 6 times per day and sometimes I would leave my job to take a break and just go to my car and cry during my midnight shift. I didn’t understand why I was so sad all the time.


There were many nights when I felt like cutting my wrists and I remember going into the kitchen and grabbing the biggest knife I could find and running it across my wrists, lightly to see what it would feel like. I wanted to end it all because I was suffering so much. I couldn’t figure out why I was sad all the time and the depression let to other things like back, neck, and severe stomach pain. Then the headaches followed. So severe to the point where I have been admitted to the hospital several times. So I would take the knife to my wrists because I thought I could end my suffering by ending my life.

When I didn’t have the “guts” to do it I just started cutting myself in other places on my body. I was angry because I was so much of a wimp I didn’t even have the guts to kill myself. At least I thought I was a wimp. I didn’t know I was under a spiritual attack because I didn’t know God then. I mean I knew who He was but I didn’t talk to Him. I didn’t read the bible at all and I definitely didn’t go to church except for twice a year – Easter and Christmas. I laugh now when I think about how I was one of “those type of churchgoers”.

I didn’t realize that there was a war going on in the spirit realm for my soul. Yes God was trying to keep me with Him and the devil was trying to take me with him. Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (KJV) “The thief” is referring to the devil. His only job is to take my life, not all at once, but slowly one day at a time. When I was up late at night it was the devil speaking in my ear to put the knife to my wrists and take my life. When I didn’t do it, he convinced me to make slits on my arms and body.

The “I” refers to Jesus. Jesus said He has come so that we may not just live, but live a wonderful life of overflow, having all we need. It is not God’s will for us to die without knowing Him. He said in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, ‘declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” So there is the spiritual battle. We must understand that the devil wants our soul bad but God wants us more. The devil sends things like depression, foreclosure, repossession, homelessness, migraine headaches, cancer, etc. to cause us to “want to” end it all. And sadly some of us do. I almost did. When we understand the battle we are fighting we can be victorious every single time. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)

If you don’t believe the devil wants your soul, read the book of Job. The devil and God are talking about Job and is asking God if he can have Job basically! Now I don’t want that conversation about me but this just goes to show how badly the devil wants our souls. But even more importantly it shows how weak the devil really is compared to God! He can’t do anything to you without your permission! So take your authority in God and banish the devil from your life and you will see some incredible things happen as you begin to put your angels on assignment. God will literally works miracles and deliver you from the things that the devil has you bound in.

Trust God only and you will be victorious and you will experience the ultimate joy that can only be found in the Lord! You will experience peace that surpasses all understanding. People will ask you “Why are you so happy all the time?” Then you can tell them why. It’s because of what Jesus did for me! (1 John 5:1-5)

God bless you!
Robert T Sells

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About the author: Robert T. Sells (aka The Anointed Poet) is the co-owner, with his wife Marlas, of Words of Inspiration Ministries in Merrillville, Indiana. He is known for his gift of prose and has been spreading the message of the Gospel through poetry and song around the country. Sells is also the author of several books in the Words of Inspiration poetry series and a Christian spoken word CD. For more information about his ministry or to purchase products and/or services, visit his website at www.robertsellsonline.com.